Has a nice ring to it, non? Since Sunday's Dexter finale, I've been ridden with anxiety concerning my favorite serial killer's bleak future, but FEAR NOT! For I have come up with a dexterous plan of exile (pun intended):
Now that Rita is six feet under, people around Miami Metro are going to start getting a bit suspicious as to why Trinity targeted Dexter's family. (Will they look back on security tapes and see Arthur Mitchell visiting Dexter at the station? Won't the Mitchells recognize Dexter at the police station as "Kyle Butler"?) Quinn's pesky concern with Dexter's pastimes perturbs me. Not to mention, Deb seems well on her way to discovering "the dark passenger." It's time Dexter leaves sunny Florida before the "shit storm hits the fan!" (Am I the only one who gets cheesed off by Deb's frequent and uncalled for use of the word shit paired with various tropical weather patterns; ex: "shit storm" and "shit hurricane"? I digress...)
On to the plan... We last left True Blood's Bon Temp, Louisiana in some serious post-shit-storm aftermath. Maryann the Maenad turned the whole town into hypnotized, black-eye-balled, orgy-having gluttons. Andy Belleflour, Bon Temps' resident alcoholic police detective, really couldn't handle things on his own. Not only is he pretty dumb (not to mention an alcoholic... but I guess that's standard fare for Louisiana government officials), he too was easily bewitched by Maryann! With all the bloody happenings of Bon Temps, the town really could use a forensic scientist, who specializes in both blood-spatter analysis and murdering of villainous crooks.
Here's where good old Dexter steps in. Bon Temps, LA would be the perfect escape for the guy! He'd have TONS of work, and he could put the dark passenger to good use... SLAYING VAMPIRES! Vampires definitely fit "the code" for killing, and I think Dexter would have a TON OF FUN researching histories on the creatures and their victims throughout the centuries. Better start hooking up some wireless internet at Merlotte's!
