CRUNK is the past tense conjugation of CRANK

For some reason this video won't embed. But if you want to see what I do everyday and you're interested in the lingustic history behind Lil Jon's signature word, click THIS.

Pandora is stalking my life.

My roommate Callie and I use the occasional morning before work to pretend we're Broadway starlets-- singing (and sometimes acting out?) various show tunes. Her VERY favorite to perform is "I'll Cover You" from RENT (definitely my least favorite from the entire RENT offertory, however, I've agreed to indulge her in this song as long as I get to play Mark during "La Vie Boheme"-- TO ABSOLUT, TO CHOICE, TO THE VILLAGE VOICE -- I digress).

I spend a considerable time at work creating and crafting the perfect Pandora stations, and my latest masterpiece is a little something I like to call "Theatricality" (taken from the title of a Glee episode), which is a wonderful mixture of Broadway tunes, Glee songs, and classic Disney music. Pandora has this new nifty pop-up that tells you when your friends like the same stuff you're listening to. FIRST element in this unsolved mystery: I haven't linked my Facebook and Pandora, so HOW do they know who I'm friends with?

Yesterday, a pop-up appears telling me that Callie Porter "likes" "I'll Cover You" - I'm thinking "Crazy! Callie DOES love that song!" When I casually mentioned this to her later, she is baffled. She doesn't have Pandora. She doesn't have Hype Machine (not that she would be downloading show tunes from hypem anyways!). She doesn't have ANYTHING about RENT written on Facebook. Hasn't downloaded the songs on iTunes. Never mentioned on Twitter. (Side note: I'm officially a media SLUT.) WHAT THE DEALIO?!!

(I apologize for the quality of this image, as my work computer is a PC so no screen caps-- how archaic!)

I refuse to believe this is a random coincidence. Pandora is stalking my life. I'm sending out an SOS to the cyber world: Does ANYONE know how they get this info?? Am I overlooking some simple element? Help a girl out!

10 Lessons Learned in New York

There are so many things that a young southern belle such as myself (haha) must learn when making the arduous transition into the mature, hardened New Yorker I yearn to be. It's a lot to take in-- I can hardly keep track of it all! Nonetheless, here's some insight into the knowledge I have gained from my time in the Big Apple thus far:

1. Walking at "New York pace" while simultaneously sipping coffee is an acquired skill -- and one that I am apparently unfit to posses.

2. Street art is cool. Taking goofy pictures in front of such displays of artistry, however, is not. (But when have I ever let that stop me?!)

3. Your feet will never be A) clean nor B) un-swollen (is that a word? well I just coined it). So its really unnecessary to invest in any sort of pedicure cosmetic services.

4. There are so many more options in New York. Take for instance: COCONUT M&Ms (also available: pretzel) -- we do NOT have those in Texas!
(Counter-example: I have yet to find ONE restaurant that serves Dr. Pepper. URG!)

5. Brooklyn is what hipster dreams are made of. To get there, take the L train, and don't forget your Vans/Thick-Rimmed Glasses/Cut-off Jorts (if you're a boy that is)/thirst for Pabst Blue Ribbon and a totally avant-garde (in an ironic way) attitude!

6. Sometimes, it's just easier to hail a limousine!

7. It is imperative to keep your cool when you spot a celeb. It's soooo un-New Yorker to make a big deal of it. They're just normal people! (Celebs I've stayed nonchalant in front of so far: Tori Spelling, Kate Winslet, Marc Jacobs, Julianne Moore & the gay redhead from Modern Family-- I hold no photographic evidence for this because "keeping your cool" involves NOT asking to take a picture with said celebrity. So you'll just have to take my word for it!)

8. BlackBerry trumps iPhone. (Though iPhone 4 looks FAWESOME AND A HALF!)

9. Taking the subway really is safe! Even if your mom told you not to go on it... especially not alone... especially not at night. Oopstini. Sorry, mom!

10. This last one, I'm still working on... Even though signs posted up all around the city read "Taxis, Do Not Honk - up to $350 fine," the alarming tone of car horns is almost always present.

Yellow Cab, Gypsy Cab, Dolla Cab, Hollaback!

Luv Ya Pops

Smart Girls Have More Fun!

Amy Poehler's web-series "Smart Girls at the Party" is the best thing to happen for young women since THIS. AP created the show with two pals Amy Miles and Meredith Walker and has signed on to produce the show for 4 whole seasons. Each episode revolves around an interview with a smart, young woman who is either an "innovative thinker" or attains a "special talent" and ends with a DANCE PARTY!!!!! "The Feminist: Ruby" is my favorite episode... I'm gonna have to memorize the "Feminism Song" - pretty FAWESOME.

Video: NSFW because you won't be able to stop watching and your boss will come up behind you to ask what the hell you're doing.



I'm truly upset that this series wasn't around when I was a kid. I could've talked about the digital-one-woman-remake of 'Newsies' that I wrote, directed, produced and starred in. *Sigh*

Way Down In Missouri Where I Heard This Melody

This Friday, catch Sundance critical darling, WINTER'S BONE in NY/LA. I was lucky enough to squeeze into a screening of the Debra Granik-directed film at SXSW in March. Ree Dolly, the daughter of a meth-dealer goes on a search for her missing father after a bonds broker informs her that her dad put their house up for bail bond... and shit hits the fan when NO ONE will help a girl out! Cue the creepy Ozark Mountain music and unveiling of super-secretive meth circles. Jennifer Lawrence doesn't miss a beat in an amazing performance as Ree.

I'm calling it as this year's PRECIOUS (authentic depiction of underprivileged, overworked teenage girl with fucked up parents). One of the best films I've seen in a while. Advice: bring a sweater to the theater; the cinematography is so realistic, you'll feel like you're there. And I'm tellin' you: it's cold as a winter's bone!

If you look closely you'll recognize John Hawkes (A.K.A. "John Lennon the translator" from LOST season 6) as Ree's badass uncle.

STAY SWELLY

My good friend Sascha (the dude behind Score More ATX) came and stayed with me in New York this past weekend. He's on tour with Chiddy Bang for the summer and introduced me to their stuff. They opened for Pretty Lights here on the East Coast and are headlining their own West Coast tour starting tomorrow. Check 'em OUT:

Chiddy + Xaphoon Jones = Chiddy Bang

Caught in a Day