Dexter Morgan: Bon Temps Blood Spatter Department

Has a nice ring to it, non? Since Sunday's Dexter finale, I've been ridden with anxiety concerning my favorite serial killer's bleak future, but FEAR NOT! For I have come up with a dexterous plan of exile (pun intended):

Now that Rita is six feet under, people around Miami Metro are going to start getting a bit suspicious as to why Trinity targeted Dexter's family. (Will they look back on security tapes and see Arthur Mitchell visiting Dexter at the station? Won't the Mitchells recognize Dexter at the police station as "Kyle Butler"?) Quinn's pesky concern with Dexter's pastimes perturbs me. Not to mention, Deb seems well on her way to discovering "the dark passenger." It's time Dexter leaves sunny Florida before the "shit storm hits the fan!" (Am I the only one who gets cheesed off by Deb's frequent and uncalled for use of the word shit paired with various tropical weather patterns; ex: "shit storm" and "shit hurricane"? I digress...)


On to the plan... We last left True Blood's Bon Temp, Louisiana in some serious post-shit-storm aftermath. Maryann the Maenad turned the whole town into hypnotized, black-eye-balled, orgy-having gluttons. Andy Belleflour, Bon Temps' resident alcoholic police detective, really couldn't handle things on his own. Not only is he pretty dumb (not to mention an alcoholic... but I guess that's standard fare for Louisiana government officials), he too was easily bewitched by Maryann! With all the bloody happenings of Bon Temps, the town really could use a forensic scientist, who specializes in both blood-spatter analysis and murdering of villainous crooks.


Here's where good old Dexter steps in. Bon Temps, LA would be the perfect escape for the guy! He'd have TONS of work, and he could put the dark passenger to good use... SLAYING VAMPIRES! Vampires definitely fit "the code" for killing, and I think Dexter would have a TON OF FUN researching histories on the creatures and their victims throughout the centuries. Better start hooking up some wireless internet at Merlotte's!


Snowing in TX; 70° in NYC



Partly because I want to brag about my newfound skill of capturing screenshots on my laptop and partly because I'm appalled at this COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR situation, I am here to tell you that while it is 40° with a strong chance of FREEZING YOUR ASS OFF outside here in the Lone Star State, it's a breezy 30-freaking-degrees warmer on the East Coast. Thanks a lot, greenhouse gas emissions and your fucked-up weather patterns!
To make myself feel better I decided to post a picture from the hottest day of my life. Here are Aaron, Tommy and Clark at our beach villa pool in Dubrovnik. Later this day, we walked the "ancient" City Walls and I lost 6 lbs.*
* = all the water weight in my body (excreted through severe perspiration)
Here is a slow-mo rendition of the toned, sexy, strong Chapstick taking his top off... What will happen next?!

Productive Procastination = Prodastination



What a productive way I have found to utilize the time that I would otherwise be using to write the 8 page research paper I have due tomorrow... Office supplies and Twilight quotes!


And so... the BlackBerry fell in love with the Stapler... What a stupid Stapler!... What a sick, masochistic BlackBerry.





Chapstick: I know what he did to you, Stapler. And I would never do that to you!




Chapstick: I HAVE A BLACKBERRY TO KILL!



Audrey made a good point in mentioning that Chapstick's top really should be off. Here we go:

Chapstick: Do not make me upset. Things could get very ugly!




This may hurt a little.




EPIC BATTLE BETWEEN BLACKBERRY AND SHARPIE ENSUES!




I will turn you into a BlackBerry on one condition. If you want me to do it, then... Marry me, Stapler.



GASP!
The decade is called "The Noughties" ?! I'm learning so much while prodastinating tonight!

Me & Orson Welles & Zac Efron



Last week, we screened Rick Linklater's new film, Me and Orson Welles, in my producing class. It won't be widely released until Thanksgiving, so it was a nice treat to get a sneak preview.
The film stars Zac Efron as Richard, a regular old 1930s high schooler who happens to win the bit part of Lucius in Orson Welles' stage production of 'Julius Caesar'. It follows the characters through the week leading up to the show's Broadway debut, as Welles takes Richard under his wing... for the time being.
Though having big names like Efron, Claire Danes, as well as Richard Linklater, the film had a rough time finding distribution. I'm interested to see who actually goes out to see this film - Linklater fans? Efron devotees? People who know/care about Orson Welles? Period piece theater-goers?
It's very well-made, with beautiful visuals, a fitting, jazzy 1930s score and a hilarious portrayal of the bullying Orson Welles by Christian McKay. I wouldn't classify myself a huge Efron fan, but he gives a noteworthy performance in this film - one unlike any of his previous tweeny bopper roles. Only con: I found the ending a tad cheesy, but I'll let you decide for yourself.
Here's the trailer:

The Show So Nice I Saw it Twice



My latest out-of-hand obsession is the Broadway show 'Spring Awakening.' The tour was in Austin the week before last, and when a friend told me she had an extra ticket, I jumped at the chance to get in on the action! I didn't know much about the show except that Rachel from Glee (Lea Michelle) originated the female lead.
Needless to say, the show blew me out of the water. First of all, I had a nice high-school throwback with Craig from Degrassi* (Jake Epstein) as Melchior, the male lead. The music, lyrics, songs, acting, costumes, set: EVERYTHING was amazing. The musical tells the story of a group of teenagers living in a culturally-repressive 19th c. Germany, as they discover sex, life, love and death. All of the cast-members were about my age, which made me feel like a WORTHLESS turd, but was also TOTALLY AWESOME... and that Hanschen, what a babe!

After I saw it on Friday, I couldn't help but pick up some last minute tickets for the final Austin show on Sunday night. Hallie and I sat THIRD ROW CENTER (and for only $65!). Loved it even more the second time around, and can't stop listening to the soundtrack.

The tour ends in May 2010 and the show left Broadway last year, so if you haven't seen it yet, I would try to catch it: Spring Awakening Tour.

* The best Canadian teen soap opera of ALL TIME (Kanye said so)
I was persuaded into signing up for GREENPEACE last week on campus. Two goodish-looking (in a dirty, bike-riding, used-clothes-wearing, vegan way) hippies cornered me on the Drag, and clearly targeted me because I was wearing an Allman Brothers t-shirt. DAMN IT! Why did I have to wear that shirt?! Anyways, at least I may have a chance with GABE… I mean, he did write “LOVE, GABE”.


Thought I’d share this digital mockumentary I did for a class last year starring my youngest sister in an Oscar-worthy turn as the lovable Tracy Winters.

I'm back! After a 5-ish month long hiatus, I've revived my ol' blogger!

¡Hola Amigos!

I honestly hope that people are actually reading my uber-interesting updates because it’s really not the easiest task. My computer is officially nonfunctioning and my phone is now limited in its usage through so much ‘wear n tear.’ I am now on a rented computer from the IT Department, and I’m faaah-reakin’ because it’s been 3 years since my fingers have touched a PC (not to sound like a snob – wink wink – Steve Jobs is my hero).

Aaaaanyways, I’m in the UK right now! But I’m not actually *in* the UK. I’m in the Straits of Gibraltar (owned by the United Kingdom)! We’ve been docked here for a while because we were waiting to “commence refueling operations” AKA we’re fillin’ her up. We left Cádiz, España yesterday, so this post will be dedicated to divulging all of my devoted followers with a somewhat exhaustive account of my adeventuras en the South of Spain! (Notice my use of ‘en’ for ‘in’ – I’m sooo Espanish now.)

So Caroline, Hayley, Camille, Fernanda, Triana, Frances and myself disembarked on the morning of June 24th and just started walking along the portside of Cádiz. We took WAY too many pictures then headed through the town to the main square. Our first stop was Catedral de Cadiz where we toured the Cathedral then walked all the way up the side tower to see the maaaaarvelous view of the entire town. From the bell tower, we could see where the cool beaches were so we decided to trek in that general direction after we were finished being touristas. After that, we went to the Yacimiento Arqueologico Casa del Obispo museum, which was the most unique, interesting museum I’ve ever been to. It is an archeological site that has glass floors constructed above it so you walk over and around all these ruins that were used for all sorts of things throughout the history of Cadiz starting from the 8th Century BC (it was once a stable, once a cistern, once the Bishop’s residence, and MORE!). Outside of the museum we saw our FAVORITE lifelong learners (old people on the boat), Gene and Nikey Key who informed us that we were their ‘adopted’ grandchildren (through a program on the ship where you can adopt staff or lifelong learners as your family)! I was ecstatic to hear the news, especially because this is Gene and Nikey’s NINTH Semester at Sea voyage, and because they are just awesome in general (Gene told us to call him whenever we wanted at 1-800-LUV-GENE). After the museum, we hit up the local market which was fantastic until we got to the fish section. See, I was under the impression that markets were full of colorful fruits and vegetables. But apppparently that’s not the way things work in port towns. I gagged the whole way through all 5 rows of reeking fishy fish (I mean that’s the only way I can describe it?) trying to hold my composure and not look like the dweeby tourist who can’t handle her shit that I am. Once we made it through and I could breathe and reason functionally again, we headed in the direction of the beach. It only took us around 7 minutes to get there and the view was just what we needed after 6 days of being couped up on a ship. We found a restaurant on the beach where we immediately ordered a round of sangria and browsed the menu. The food was nothing immaculate, but the drinks were great. Caroline had Camarones de Tortillas (we thought it would be like fried shrimp, but it was actually little patties of batter and shrimp – which still had eyes), Camille had an ensalada con atun (tuna salad), Hayley had a bocadillo con tortilla Espanola (bread with eggs and potatoes inside) and I had a bocadillo con chorizo (sausage thingy sandwich). After some mas sangria y chupitas de ron (rum shots), we went down to the beach where some other SASers were hanging out. We swam in the water and it was PERFECT and surprisingly very warm. We came out a little beat up though because of all the rocks on hidden in the sand on the seafloor. On our way home from the beach, I started chatting with some very forthcoming Spanish 12 year-olds who may or may not have mistaken me for Hannah Montana. Then got back on the ship to get ready for la noche!

Frances and Clark made reservations for us to eat at this little hole in the wall place in the middle of town that they had discovered while wandering from their tour group. Our dinner party took up the entire restaurant (and there were only 14 of us!). I had a delicious steak and vino pinto. After dining, we walked around the ENTIRE town trying to find the cool place to hang out. We got directions from some a-hole teenagers who we learned had lied to us and told us the opposite of where we needed to go. Needless to say, Remy (who lived in Spain for a year in high school and therefore knows her shit) had some words with the uncouth teens that can’t and shan’t be repeated here. We found some place that was empty and decided to make it our hangout. Eventually as other SASers walked by and saw us, the place got progressively more crowded until the party spilled onto the street and into the plaza (it was surprising and invigorating to carry our drinks out of the bar – an act apparently unprohibited en Espana). After a while, we walked over to the discoteca two doors down and had a blast and a half! We made some Spanish friends and Caroline had a lengthy and peculiar conversation with some 70+ year-old women who told her she needed more self-confidence (pictures to come). That place closed at 3am, so all the rest of the SASers went home, but Hayley, Caroline, Camille, Clark and I went to meet Fernanda and her friend Pablo (who really loved Hayley if you know what I mean) at a local (hence LEGIT) discoteca called Barrabas. The events of Barrabas will forever remain at Barrabas, but I will tell you this: when a Frenchman asked me to “go to the beach” (a clear euphemism for “I’m going to date rape you” or worse) a red light in my head blinked “Natalee Holloway, Natalee Holloway” so I politely declined. We finally got home around 7am and were relieved to see other people standing outside of the boat (an indication that we had not been the only students consumed in our revelry till the wee hours of the morning) only to find that they were in fact *leaving* for their flight to Barcelona. We hit the hay and set our alarms to wake us in 4 hours to carry onward to Sevilla!

It was not an easy task, but Camille, Caroline, Jarrett and Aaron (our new BESTIES from California who go to SMU) were packed, lunched, and seated on the train to Sevilla by 2pm on Thursday. We talked the whole train ride (approx. 2 hours) about good restaurants to eat at in Dallas. And when I say “we” I mean me and Caroline told them where to go. Typical. We got to Sevilla and checked into our hostel (Hostal Dalis) which was the BEST place we could have stayed. It was a 2 minute walk from the main plaza and Catedral and a 5 minute walk from the river. Post-check-in, Camille, Caroline and I wandered a little and ate some little bocadillos at an internet café then went to the shopping area and couldn’t resist browsing through H&M where I bought a fashionable yet functional pair of shorts (don’t worry, mom, they were only 9€). We went back to the hostel and napped and showered. That night, Adelaide made us reservations for a restaurant on the river called Rio Grande. Spectacular. We had another big dinner group, this time with Jarrett, Aaron, Alison and Emily (our new Colorado friends), Adelaide, Lauren, Brooke, Tyler, Camille, Caroline, Clark, Frances and me! Caroline ordered fish which again had eyes, so it was a good thing I ordered paella that could have fed a third world country. The paella was muy deliciosa and it was passed around the entire table and there was STILL some leftover. It was at this point that we learned about Michael Jackson’s death, and I even teared up a little when I found out. I wanted to go buy a pair of gloves and only wear one as a tribute, but we didn’t really know where to buy any gloves so the idea was nixed. After dinner, we walked around the block where the clubs were. We found our own bar again and danced it up until we heard from Fernanda and Pablo who wanted to meet up at Discoteca Catedral (a Cathedral-themed discoteca = awesome). And at this discoteca in the middle of Sevilla, WE RAN INTO MALLORY SHARY AND MARGARET NEWMAN. I still can’t believe it – we didn’t know they were in Europe, much less Sevilla! We danced all night AGAIN and left the club around 6. I convinced our cab driver to stop at a burger place before we got home where we late-nited on some Spanish-style burgers (what does that even mean?) that had tortilla Espanola on them as well as French’s potato sticks. Yum. We got home to our hostel where the owner had found out that we were trying to fit more people in our room than was allowed, so we were forced to purchase another room (advice for future travelers: don’t try to screw over hostel managers because they will find out). Caroline and I were delegated to sleep in the new room where we couldn’t figure out how to work the air conditioning, so we opted to sleep naked and with the window open (separate beds, obvi).

The next morning, we awoke bright and early at 11am to get breakfast and café con leche at a little place in the Plaza in front of the Catedral and we had another crazy coincidence. Clark ran into his old teacher from Episcopal and while they were talking on the sidewalk, one of his classmates ran into them as well! So we planned to meet up with them for tapas that night. After breakfast, we went to la Catedral, and it was at this point that I remembered that I’d been to Sevilla on my high school Spain trip and had been to all of the tourista places that were on our agenda for the day! It was a perfect refresher to go back, and I’m happy I did. We took pictures with the tomb of Cristobal Colon (also known as Christopher Columbus!) at the Catedral and walked through the gardens and up to the bell tower (another AMAZING view). I’d actually been to a mass at the Catedral on my other trip, but when I came back, I noticed even more things that I hadn’t before. My favorite part was the wood carving of the angels in the organs. So intricate and astonishingly beautiful. Our tour didn’t stop there: we headed to Alcazar, an ENORMOUS palace built by Pedro I in the 1350s. Again, I had been here before, but it was still breathtaking the second time around. I was excited that I brought my new Holga camera, which I used for double exposures all over the Alcazar (the tile work there is one of a kind, so I would take one picture of a cool tile pattern, then contrast it against a picture of the landscapes – we’ll see how they turn out!). We then walked a lot more around Sevilla. Some others wanted to see the Plaza del Toros, but since I’d been to a bull fight there before (and HATED it – it made me so sad), I chose to head back to the hostel for a nice, long recuperative nap. We then went to meet up with Clark’s old teacher and friend from Episcopal to eat at the BEST TAPAS PLACE IN SEVILLA (and I’m so pissed I didn’t write down the name). It took them about 2 hours to fit our huge group so we spent time chatting over some vino. We finally sat down for dinner at midnight and just ordered a BUNCH of tapas. We had the most deeeeeelish goat cheese salad, almond chicken with potatoes, creamy brie and more. After all that food and 5 bottles of wine, our bill was only 120€ for 14 people – we COULD NOT believe it. Around 1:30am, we finally finished and headed out to the club scene. We went back to Riolatina where we had been the night before only to be flooded with a throng of high schoolers. At this point, we made the executive decision to go the Buddha Bar, an ‘exclusive’ club that is actually at the train station in Sevilla. The line to get in was SO LONG, but it looked really fun so we paid our dues and waited. And it was worth it. The place was SO COOL. There were 3 stories and on the top deck, there were cabanas were you could sit and swanky red couches everywhere – very posh. The dance floor was a-rockin’ as well, and we ran into a bunch of SASers which is always fun. We danced and danced until we could not stand up. The DJ played a PLETHORA of Michael Jackson songs to techno beats. He was very big in Europe. We finally went home at 6am and went straight to bed so we could wake up for the train back to Cadiz in the morning.

The next day, we got our train and slept the whole way back. All of our tourista activities had caught up with us! We got back to Cadiz around 3pm and were scheduled to set sail at 8pm, but some travelers in Barcelona got delayed so we didn’t leave until around 11. We laid out on the deck while we were in port and had some snacks from the snack bar (yummmmo smoothies).

We got a new inter-port student (and we miss Fernanda a lot!!!) named Alessandro and he’s pretty cool. He even offered to help me talk with the Apple store in Rome about getting my computer fixed. And our new inter-port lecturer, Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez, is also great. She’s SO smart and experienced – and she knows a TON of celebs from George Clooney to the Ferrari Family. AND she is in charge of 3 different committees in Congress – one being TSA. AND she was one of the only people to originally vote against the War in Iraq.

I have a paper and two tests the day after tomorrow so that’s pretty much what I’m going to be up to for the next few days. Well that and trying to plan our Italy trip. Only 5 days and soooo much to do!!! If you have ideas on how to hit the highlights in 5 days, email me ASAP hrkitziger@semesteratsea.net . Muchas gracias!

For more reading (as if this wasn’t enough) on my Espana adventuras, check Hayley’s blog: http://hayley-summeratsea.blogspot.com

Until next time-xoxo-HANNAH

Ahoy from the Mid-Atlantic Ridge!

So when I left off was right before our first pub night, which so far has definitely been one of the best nights of the voyage! We had our designated 5 glasses of wine and gained the liquid courage to make LOTS of new friends! First of all, I spilled some wine on the table where we we sitting, and Camille jokingly suggested that I slurp it up as to not waste any, and a girl from the neighboring table heard and ACTUALLY CAME AND DID IT. The entire deck was chanting "Sarah! Sarah!" Hilarious. Then I verbally harassed some of the LLCs (Living & Learning Coordinators a.k.a. camp counselors of SAS) convincing them that Caroline HAD TO teach a hip hop dance class to the entire ship. Needless to say, she is a little unhappy with me right now. I met all 4 of the students from Louisiana, and had a nice long chat with one of the assistant deans who used to work at Tulane, earning myself the nickname "Hannah from Louisiana." Then we saw our FAVORITE waiter Allan (from the dining hall), and he and I made up a secret handshake (which I have since taught to everyone who will listen). Allan even showed us his tongue ring, which has a smiley face charm. After pub night closed at 2300 we hit the smoking deck for our now 'usual' after-party. I sang some Disney tunes with Triana, a Fashion Institute of Technology student who hails from Brooklyn and has braids down to her knees- which I later found out was a weave. We rapped some Lauryn Hill then went on to some free-styling. After that we had to get to sleep because we lose an hour every night.

Class continued and I learned about the fundamentals of Ethnomusicology and geological proccesses. Triana introduced us to the interport student, Fernanda who has become our BEST friend that we've made so far. The sad part is that we have to drop her off in Spain :'-( . Fernanda is Brazillian but grew up on the Spanish Baleric island, Mallorca (next to Ibiza) and she speaks SEVEN languages and has the COOOOLEST accent ever (becuase she grew up going to a British school). We ate dinner with some other LLCs, and one of them told us all about how she works at Radio Disney. SHE KNOWS MILEY CYRUS AND THE JONAS BROTHERS!!! (hehe) Then Friday night, we had another pub night, which wasn't as crowded but was still really fun! We hung out with even MORE LLCs (Sadika and Simon) and found out that they are married and are high school sweethearts! Afterwards, we stayed up till 4am chatting with Triana and Fernanda.

Yesterday, I was the ONLY one who made it to all my classes! I was running on empty so I had a Cappucino at the snack bar and it gave me energy for the entire day. After class, I worked out and then ate dinner with a professor named Rocky, who told us all about his life. He has a PhD in Geologicial Sustainability and lives in the Bay Area. He works a lot internationally and has been to over FIFTY countries. Crazy. Then around 2100 we passed through the Azores Islands, which are on the Mid-Atlantic Ridge. They are an archipelago of islands that were created between the North American tectonic plate and the Eurasian plate becuase of a hot spot that leaks magma between the cracks of the plates. (I learned all this in my geology class!) The islands were AWESOME. They were tiny tiny but houses covered little countrysides, and once the sun set, we could see lights flickering across. It was soooo weird so see land for the first time in 4 days! We met some more friends at pub night and made plans for Croatia- we're renting a house on this cliff that overlooks the ocean in Dubrovnik! The house fits 25 people and isn't expensive at all- it's going to be incredible.

We have 2 more days of class until Cadiz. Once we get there, we're taking a train to Sevilla to do some sight-seeing there. I'll check back before then hopefully!

I'm on a Boat

Whoa. These past 3 days have been a whirlwind!

Tuesday, we woke up at 6am (Halifax time – in Austin, it was actually 4am), had a wonderful breakfast at our Halifax Hilton Inn, ordered a cab, loaded all 10 of our bags in, much to the dismay of our cab whose battery died the second we all buckled in. Good thing the Hilton airport shuttle was near because he jumpstarted our car! I embarked on the MV Explorer at 8am and was at the pendodontist (root canal specialist) by 9. Turns out, I didn’t have a root canal at all – I have been clenching my teeth at night (grrrreat news). Then, Caroline, Hayley, Adelaide, Lauren and myself lunched on LOTS of crab and lobster at a restaurant on the waterfront, followed by a trip to Sears to buy some last minute necessities. (Line of the Day: “Like, in America, we have WAL-MART” – Adelaide to our Canadian waitress inquiring where to buy a pillow and explaining how we do things in the ole US of A). We boarded the ship and departed from Pier 20 at 1700 (5pm) and then ate a dinner of salad (which included lettuce and cucumbers) and some wedge potatoes with ketchup. I met my roomies: Wan Wang (from Singapore via UC Berkeley) and Morgan Ganoe (from UVA). We had a meeting with our discussion groups for our required reading ‘Identity and Crisis’ which approx. 7% of the ship actually read. After an eventful day, I took some Meclizine, watched ‘Twilight’ with Hayley and Carol and hit the hay.

Yesterday, we orientated ALL day, and it was extremely uneventful. We met the faculty, staff and crew, watched a bit of an anti-drinking PSA called ‘Haze,’ set up our emails, internet AND intranet, etc. etc. ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ and ‘Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets’ played on a loop on the TVs all night.

We set the clocks back another hour and woke up this morning for the first day of class! Global Studies was interesting/relevant and we began our exploration of the history of the Mediterranean. We analyzed the inaccuracy of some scenes and quotes from ‘300.’ Then I had Global Music where we listened to some Tuvan throat singing (namely Orban’s “Back Tuva Future” recording). After the first 2 classes, Caroline, Hayley, Camille (an old pal from NOLA), Isabel (Camille’s friend from UVA), Remy (Camille’s SAS roommate), and myself laid out by the pool and did some reading for our classes. It was pretty warm, but very windy so it was perfect laying out weather – we didn’t sweat a bit (which is a remarkable accomplishment for me)! We watched the pool fill up with crystal clear ocean water. It was crazy! Then I had Geology, where we reviewed the basics of mantle/crust/tectonic plates. I’m about to shower then get ready for our very first PUB NIGHT!!! Check back tomorrow. Oh, and I tried to upload a picture from my cabin, but it's not working :-( 

HOLLA FROM HALIFAX


Here we are with our pilot friend at JFK International waiting for our flight to Halifax.* Our flight was delayed 2 hours, so we had a birthday dinner for Caroline at Bobby Van's Steakhouse (we clearly did not fit in at this 'fine' establishment, what with our backpacks, jeans and t-shirts). We met some fellow SASers on the flight, and my friendly neighbor told me about his run-in with Dustin Hoffman earlier today. We have to wake up in FOUR hours for embarkation, and after I check on to the MV Explorer, I have to visit a dentist here in Nova Scotia. Oh yeah, and both my bags were overweight (resulting in a $100 fee) and my computer is broken. Things can only get better at this point!

*Note: though it undeniably appears that we are at Niagara Falls in this PhotoBooth masterpiece, we, in fact, are actually at Gate 31.

Approx. 36 Hours Until...

I will obnoxiously quote Andy Samberg and create a post titled, "I'm on a boat, motherfucker." 
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