Secrets are fun!

Taylor Swift's new album "Speak Now" dropped today & while I have yet to actually listen to any of the music, I pretty much know everything there is to know about it (thanks to US Weekly and every website on the internet). There's the song about John Mayer. The one about Cory Monteith... Taylor Lautner... Joe Jonas. How does someone so young fall so hard so frequently? Gurl, chill out. Ya got time!

Anyways-- my super-dork best friend Hayley has discovered a little "Easter Egg" for tech-savvy Swift fans: if you download the album on iTunes and enable the lyrics application, some letters are inexplicably in caps throughout the songs. Random? Me thinks not...

Hayley decided to take on this mystery. She decoded the following secret messages:

Track 4. "Speak Now" - apparently about Joe Jonas - reads: "YOU ALWAYS REGRET WHAT YOU DON'T SAY"

Track 5 "Dear John" - regarding sleazeball & repeated heartbreaker, John Mayer - reads: "LOVED YOU FROM THE VERY FIRST DAY" [ed note: gross.]

That's it for now, but I'm sure by the end of the day, Sherlock Hayley will have cracked the whole album!

UPDATE: Evidently, this lyric-book addendum is no new territory for Taylor Swift. Other nerds discovered THE SAME THING on her first two albums: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081111144353AAztMoY

(I especially love the "I CRIED WHILE RECORDING THIS" note... No-bars, y'all!)

UPDATE: Finished product-

Pierre the Artiste does a Portrait

Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

The rumors are true.

Yes, friends. I, Hannah R. Kitziger -- inventor of countless fat kid tricks and eternal lover of Hut's #12 hamburger (with extra jalapenos) -- went vegetarian. (Cue the obligatory text from meat-loving mother: "What would a move to LA be if you DIDN'T go vegan??!" -- OK, MOM- THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.) The reason for this big decision: my friend Neel made a short doc about animal cruelty, and after watching it, I pledged to change my ways! (Oh, I also needed a convincing reason to mobilize plebeians in a revolt against Lady Gaga)

BREAKING: Umm. It lasted approximately 20 hours. My b, guys! AND THE PEANUT GALLERY NEEDS TO COOL IT (I'm talkin' to you Hayley!) That shit is hard to do! I accidentally ate turkey bacon on Sunday morning. Oops?

Anyways- here is a photograph of my first only meal as a vegetarian. It was deeeeelectable... and raw! And vegan!

SunPower Cafe in Burbank: Raw Pesto Pizza (sunflower seed crust, cashew creamy basil pesto sauce, tomatoes, mushrooms) and a side of hummus + pita!

The Legacy of UTLA

Yesterday was a busy traffic day on the internet for video memes. There were all the obligatory Emmy re-caps and other subpar situations, yet among the haystack of Jimmy Fallon judgements and Jewel-bashings were these two gems that couldn't help but remind me of what my future might hold:

1. Diablo Cody's 4th episode of Red Band Trailer. HIGHLIGHT: Megan Fox & Diablo discuss the Oakwoods AKA "Child Star Jail" AKA my current place of residency. I am SO the next "Hot Tub Duff" !

2. Ryan James Yezak's followup music video to California Gays: "Peacock". For those of you who don't know (everyone?) Ryan is a UTLA alum! He is a producer's assistant at MTV & I met him last week. Creative dude!

Call me Yoko

Here's Yoko Ono on July 16th:

Here's me one week later:

THIS IS AS LOUD AS I CAN GO!!!!!

I realize that this mere still photograph doesn't quite capture the audio element of my performance like the video of Yoko. But trust me... it was delectable to the ears! Can I get a WHAT WHAT for performance art?!

Fun Fotos with Free Programs

Adobe Photoshop is some $$$ shit. I've been exploring my alternatives (key requirement: free download) with no success. However, today I did find Paintbrush-- a PC-turned-Mac-User's delight! In a nostalgic tribute to the "Paint" feature from "Accessories," Paintbrush let's you do a TON of super simple Microsoft things to your photos, like drawing on them with neon colors!

The collage feature with photos from my 2006 trip to Tijuana:

Painting on pictures! Triana says:

Nice Kenny Rogers Tees & Moustaches. Did You Guys Play South By This Year?

Esteban Hernandez: My friend Steven is up-and-coming on the Austin stand up scene. We're both moving to LA in a few weeks, so here's a chance to catch his early stuff before he becomes the next George Lopez (because he's Mexican... get it??)!

Back in Texas

Here's what I did this afternoon:

Ray: Summer Boyfriend from Hannah Kitziger on Vimeo.

Baby bro rulez!

Best Meals of NYC Summer

One complaint I have about my BlackBerry is its limited memory for mobile photos. As I sit in the Atlanta Airport waiting for my transfer flight to Dallas, I've been relocating my phone pics to my computer. Doing this has brought me to the realization that I take a lot of pictures of my food! Here are some NYC highlights:

Nitta Nitta - Brooklyn - Dinner - Pesto Asparagus, fried mac'n cheese, chorizo mashed sweet potatoes.

The Extra Virgin - West Village - Brunch - Scrambled eggs, tomatoes, pesto, chorizo, salsa, cilantro.

Westville West - West Village - Lunch - Veggie burger w/ cheddar cheese & beet, goat cheese salad

Il Cortile - Little Italy - Dinner - Pesto Gnocchi

The Dumpling Man - East Village - Steamed chicken dumplings with hot monster sauce

Empenada Mama - Theater District - Dinner - Guacamole

Gusto Organics - West Village - Dinner - Beet, goat cheese salad

Nathan's Famous - Coney Island - Lunch - Dog w/ peppers'n onions

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

My friends. Doodling with Gelli Rolls. Taking pictures with my mobile. PHOTO BOOTHS!!! Enjoy these high quality photographs captured from my plog (paper log/journal as opposed to this web log).

1: Elizabeth Watson, McCall Cunningham & Me (2008 - The Dirty Dog, Austin) 2: Audrey Priest, Hayley Vaughan & Me (2007 - Billy Bob's, Fort Worth) 3: Liz Sowa, Rayne Housey, Caitlin Smith & Me (2002 - The Palace Clearview, New Orleans)

1: Caroline Adams, Audrey Priest & Me (2010 - Barton Creek, Austin) 2/3: Caroline Adams, Hannah Heighten, Ray Kitziger, Mary Margaret Shamburger, Julia Kitziger & Me (2009 - HP Baccalaureate, Dallas)

Photo booths can turn any old BFFA to a real life BFFENMWTFHANMHFAWA. It's proven.

CRUNK is the past tense conjugation of CRANK

For some reason this video won't embed. But if you want to see what I do everyday and you're interested in the lingustic history behind Lil Jon's signature word, click THIS.

Pandora is stalking my life.

My roommate Callie and I use the occasional morning before work to pretend we're Broadway starlets-- singing (and sometimes acting out?) various show tunes. Her VERY favorite to perform is "I'll Cover You" from RENT (definitely my least favorite from the entire RENT offertory, however, I've agreed to indulge her in this song as long as I get to play Mark during "La Vie Boheme"-- TO ABSOLUT, TO CHOICE, TO THE VILLAGE VOICE -- I digress).

I spend a considerable time at work creating and crafting the perfect Pandora stations, and my latest masterpiece is a little something I like to call "Theatricality" (taken from the title of a Glee episode), which is a wonderful mixture of Broadway tunes, Glee songs, and classic Disney music. Pandora has this new nifty pop-up that tells you when your friends like the same stuff you're listening to. FIRST element in this unsolved mystery: I haven't linked my Facebook and Pandora, so HOW do they know who I'm friends with?

Yesterday, a pop-up appears telling me that Callie Porter "likes" "I'll Cover You" - I'm thinking "Crazy! Callie DOES love that song!" When I casually mentioned this to her later, she is baffled. She doesn't have Pandora. She doesn't have Hype Machine (not that she would be downloading show tunes from hypem anyways!). She doesn't have ANYTHING about RENT written on Facebook. Hasn't downloaded the songs on iTunes. Never mentioned on Twitter. (Side note: I'm officially a media SLUT.) WHAT THE DEALIO?!!

(I apologize for the quality of this image, as my work computer is a PC so no screen caps-- how archaic!)

I refuse to believe this is a random coincidence. Pandora is stalking my life. I'm sending out an SOS to the cyber world: Does ANYONE know how they get this info?? Am I overlooking some simple element? Help a girl out!

10 Lessons Learned in New York

There are so many things that a young southern belle such as myself (haha) must learn when making the arduous transition into the mature, hardened New Yorker I yearn to be. It's a lot to take in-- I can hardly keep track of it all! Nonetheless, here's some insight into the knowledge I have gained from my time in the Big Apple thus far:

1. Walking at "New York pace" while simultaneously sipping coffee is an acquired skill -- and one that I am apparently unfit to posses.

2. Street art is cool. Taking goofy pictures in front of such displays of artistry, however, is not. (But when have I ever let that stop me?!)

3. Your feet will never be A) clean nor B) un-swollen (is that a word? well I just coined it). So its really unnecessary to invest in any sort of pedicure cosmetic services.

4. There are so many more options in New York. Take for instance: COCONUT M&Ms (also available: pretzel) -- we do NOT have those in Texas!
(Counter-example: I have yet to find ONE restaurant that serves Dr. Pepper. URG!)

5. Brooklyn is what hipster dreams are made of. To get there, take the L train, and don't forget your Vans/Thick-Rimmed Glasses/Cut-off Jorts (if you're a boy that is)/thirst for Pabst Blue Ribbon and a totally avant-garde (in an ironic way) attitude!

6. Sometimes, it's just easier to hail a limousine!

7. It is imperative to keep your cool when you spot a celeb. It's soooo un-New Yorker to make a big deal of it. They're just normal people! (Celebs I've stayed nonchalant in front of so far: Tori Spelling, Kate Winslet, Marc Jacobs, Julianne Moore & the gay redhead from Modern Family-- I hold no photographic evidence for this because "keeping your cool" involves NOT asking to take a picture with said celebrity. So you'll just have to take my word for it!)

8. BlackBerry trumps iPhone. (Though iPhone 4 looks FAWESOME AND A HALF!)

9. Taking the subway really is safe! Even if your mom told you not to go on it... especially not alone... especially not at night. Oopstini. Sorry, mom!

10. This last one, I'm still working on... Even though signs posted up all around the city read "Taxis, Do Not Honk - up to $350 fine," the alarming tone of car horns is almost always present.

Yellow Cab, Gypsy Cab, Dolla Cab, Hollaback!

Luv Ya Pops

Smart Girls Have More Fun!

Amy Poehler's web-series "Smart Girls at the Party" is the best thing to happen for young women since THIS. AP created the show with two pals Amy Miles and Meredith Walker and has signed on to produce the show for 4 whole seasons. Each episode revolves around an interview with a smart, young woman who is either an "innovative thinker" or attains a "special talent" and ends with a DANCE PARTY!!!!! "The Feminist: Ruby" is my favorite episode... I'm gonna have to memorize the "Feminism Song" - pretty FAWESOME.

Video: NSFW because you won't be able to stop watching and your boss will come up behind you to ask what the hell you're doing.



I'm truly upset that this series wasn't around when I was a kid. I could've talked about the digital-one-woman-remake of 'Newsies' that I wrote, directed, produced and starred in. *Sigh*

Way Down In Missouri Where I Heard This Melody

This Friday, catch Sundance critical darling, WINTER'S BONE in NY/LA. I was lucky enough to squeeze into a screening of the Debra Granik-directed film at SXSW in March. Ree Dolly, the daughter of a meth-dealer goes on a search for her missing father after a bonds broker informs her that her dad put their house up for bail bond... and shit hits the fan when NO ONE will help a girl out! Cue the creepy Ozark Mountain music and unveiling of super-secretive meth circles. Jennifer Lawrence doesn't miss a beat in an amazing performance as Ree.

I'm calling it as this year's PRECIOUS (authentic depiction of underprivileged, overworked teenage girl with fucked up parents). One of the best films I've seen in a while. Advice: bring a sweater to the theater; the cinematography is so realistic, you'll feel like you're there. And I'm tellin' you: it's cold as a winter's bone!

If you look closely you'll recognize John Hawkes (A.K.A. "John Lennon the translator" from LOST season 6) as Ree's badass uncle.

STAY SWELLY

My good friend Sascha (the dude behind Score More ATX) came and stayed with me in New York this past weekend. He's on tour with Chiddy Bang for the summer and introduced me to their stuff. They opened for Pretty Lights here on the East Coast and are headlining their own West Coast tour starting tomorrow. Check 'em OUT:

Chiddy + Xaphoon Jones = Chiddy Bang

Caught in a Day

Mami Like

I almost forgot!

My super-hip, always-ahead-of-the-trends, ex-enemy-in-fourth-grade, girl-with-the-best-wig-collection, only-drinks-BlaVod (Black Vodka) best friend Yvonne (pronounced: ee-von for those unfamiliar) has started a blog with her friend Willie!

Yvonne: a social butterfly.

They call it MAMI LIKE. Here's why:

'When you see a sexy man driving a big ass car, "Ooh mommy like" is the most appropriate response. When you bite into a delicious stuffed grilled cheese from Swingers, "Mmm mommy like" is an impulsive reaction. Unfortunately Mommy Like was already taken as "a blog that reviews the best children's books out there," so we figured a little Latin flava was necessary, hence Mami Like.'

Check it out! PS- LOVE this photo of Yvonne.

So little time...

So MUCH TO DO! Today is the first day in WEEKS that I have had a second to breathe... and what do I do with my first morning off since March? Blog, I say.

Lots happening. So here we go:

1. The Winnebago Man trailer has been released! (After much deliberation/cordial clashing on tag lines and pull quotes with the my wonderful Advanced Producing class... "The Man. The Myth. The Mouth." was chosen. JIC you are super worried about it, I voted and argued on this tag line's behalf.) THE POINT: July 9th: be there or just succumb to letting your mind be a piece of shit that morning.

2. Season finales! (Quick re-cap/reactions: Community- ANNIE YOUZA HO!; The Office- Holly returns?!; 30 Rock- Matt. Effing. Damon.; Parks & Rec- Andy and April forever; 90210- LAME; Gossip Girl- OK, really? Chuck Bass is not *dead* - he'll be in a coma until mid-series-premiere-episode, DUH; House- CUDDY AND HOUSE FOREVER!; Vampire Diaries- Holy Roller Novocain! This is OOC! Shit just hit da fan. Pee in ma pantz! Can't even wait.)

3. SERIES FINALES! LOST ended last night... forever... and there will be an entire post dedicated to my afterthoughts (solely written as a separate post for those who wish to read the headline and skip my opinions altogether). But let me just say: Darlton, I'm disappointed. FUCK THIS "BIG PICTURE" BULLSHIT. I'VE DEDICATED TOO MUCH TIME TO THE MYTHOLOGY OF THIS SHOW JUST TO HAVE IT CAST ASIDE LIKE MY DOG SHEEBA WHO MY MOM MAKES LIVE IN OUR SIDE YARD BECAUSE HE DEVELOPED A HERNIA THAT COSTS TOO MUCH TO FIX!

4. I've read two books so far this summer. ("How do you have time to read books and not have time to blog?" you ask... "Whatever, screw you." I say). First of all: The Apothecary's Daughter. Thoughts: very easy, quick read; kind of a beach-read version of Pride and Prejudice. Second of all: The Help. Thoughts: why the hell are people so obsessed with this book?! No. I did not enjoy.

5. Now, I'm literally counting down the seconds (approximately 39,678 at the time of this post) until The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest is released. I pre-ordered that shiz on my Kindle in DECEMBER 2009! Can't wait... Meanwhile: the Swedish film version of Girl With the Dragon Tattoo was FAWESOME. As always, I will point out that the movie did gloss over a few details, but the overall story was unaffected by these omissions. More importantly, the cinematography is dark and beautiful, the acting is GREAT (as far as I can tell since I don't speak Swedish and all), and it's well worth your time. Obviously you should read the book before you see the film, but here's the trailer:

Oh yeah, and now David Fincher is making an English-language adaptation. With Brad Pitt. And apparently Carey Mulligan. I like all three, but I'm not in favor of adapting already amazing films for stupid American audiences who can't tolerate subtitles. Wash.

6. I leave for NYC in less than a week!!!! YEAH. I'm in an Empire State of Mind, baby. (OK, I've waited a long time to say that, so let me have my moment.)

Studyin' About that Good Ol' Way...

One of my top 10 movie scenes EVER. I can never get this song out of my head, but I don't mind!

SASSY GALZ

my peeps

I am a child of the Net Gen. I speak in Slanguage.

I am a child of the Net Gen. I have an affinity acronyms, abbreviations, portmanteaus, and emoticons, a characteristic of which I'm completely aware BUGS THE SHIT out of some people. But, I can't help myself. As hard as I've tried to stop (actually that was a lie, I've never tried), it would be IMPOSSIBLE. So here's a list of my commonly-used slanguage terms. Knowing these will be vital to understanding anything I say in this blog, on Twitter... or in real life:

Net Gen = internet generation (commonly referred to as Generation Y, but I prefer this)

sitch = situation (most frequently used... as in, "what's the sitch, bitch?")

fawesome = (see sidebar) (also, fawkward, fugly, filarious, etc.)

OOC = out of control

FOC = freak out control (via Kelly Leonard, my PIC - partner in crime - when it comes to acronyms)

IAYM = I am your master. (As far as I know, this has no practical use in the real world. It's just fun to say)

WTF = pronounced in real life as "dub tee eff" (self-explanatory, a way to avoid expletives in public conversation)

:-P = tongue out (can be used in almost any context: "you smell" "rock out" "eating")

:-/ = scowl (not as upset as an actual frown, but possibly hurt or a little annoyed)

({}) = BBPs only (BlackBerry Princesses... this means "hug" in BBM)

Leave your personal fave Net Gen terms in the comments. If I like, I'll incorporate into my own slanguage compendium.

Winnebago Man

One of my film production professors, Ben Steinbauer garnered TONS of critical acclaim last year for his SXSW hit Winnebago Man. This documentary is fun and funny... and insightful. It takes a deep look into viral video culture, as Ben goes on a search for "the angriest man alive" a.k.a. Jack Rebney, the man behind a 1980s Winnebago industrial video. Video: NSFW.

After months of trying to figure out how to get this thing distributed post-SXSW, Ben and his partners accepted an offer from Kino, and the film's theatrical release is July 9th!!! I'm happy I'll be in NYC for this, so I can smuggle myself into the premiere and tell EVERYONE I meet about it. It will be my 4th time seeing the documentary, a fact that baffles my friends who scoff at the thought of documentaries and foreign films with subtitles. But the thing is Winnebago Man is more entertaining than a lot of the narrative films I've seen in the past year. It's hilarious and heartfelt, and I can't imagine anyone not enjoying it. The problem isn't at all whether it's a "good" film or not; it's how to get bodies in the seats. How and to whom do you market a limited-release, independent documentary about a viral video that anyone can just pull up on YouTube?

Sicknasty Mashups Worth Your Time

Snoop vs. Jimi Hendrix

Timon vs. Drake

2Pac vs. Biggie

Bob Marley vs. MGMT

Nirvana vs. Destiny's Child

Another HowCast Video...

And Hayley steals the show (duh!)

Video Portrait

Shot & Cut by Hannah Kitziger. Lived by Creston Whittington. Music by DJ Earworm.

SXSW 2010

South By Southwest OH TEN.

The festival started a a little over a week ago, but still before that I was consumed with all things Advanced Producing.


I had a craaaazy fun time doing some marketing and promotional stuff for Cherry, a film by my new buddy Jeffrey Fine. The story follows a college freshman, Aaron, as he yearns to shed his science geeky-ness for art and love (read=sex) :

I spent the weekend manning our "Cherry Confessions" booth as part of the website's viral video promo material. We posted up both at the AlaSoLa (Alamo Drafthouse South Lamar) and the bustling corner of 6th and Trinity. Needless to say, we got a plethora of interesting stories.

Matt Fine (producer) and Jeff (writer/director) in front of the booth:

While dressed in the confessional bishop costume, I met a woman, Heather Menicucci, who started the FAWESOME website How Cast. Here, you can catch me at the 1:03 mark discussing how to get the most out of SXSW:

Howcast Hits SXSW 2010: Tips on Getting the Most Out Of the Festival on Howcast

Overall, SXSW OH TEN was an amazing time followed by a pretty NUTTY trip to Cabo. Posts on that to come...